One of the more difficult components of moving on after a divorce is redefining who you are. This is not to say that you were someone else when you were married. Just different.
You see, in the course of a lifetime our personality and how we identify ourselves evolves. However, we don’t evolve in a vacuum. Our experiences, our choices, and our relationships actively impact the evolution of our self-image and in turn our self-confidence.
In this way, our decisions are influenced by what we believe we can do and what we should be doing.
If you believe you’re a good person with high moral standards, you will be more conscientious about your actions. Conversely, if you see yourself as not worthy of love and inferior, you may not take social risks for fear of rejection or embarrassment. All this contributes to how you see yourself and it influences your daily habits.
When you are in a committed, monogamous relationship the fears and reservations you may have had in the beginning start to fade away. You feel secure in the relationship and you carry yourself with confidence. In fact, many studies in social psychology have supported the positive life influence of a healthy romantic relationship. Those studies highlight the increased levels of happiness, self-confidence, healthier platonic relationships, improved physical health, improved job performance, and many more.
It’s no surprise why being in a very future relationship becomes a core element in however we tend to see ourselves. The question now is; how do we re-examine our self-worth and confidence after that once positive relationship has ended? Here square measure some suggestions that have helped my purchasers when an extended term relationship has ended:
1. List your positive traits and accomplishments.
Remember what you contributed to your relationship and the positive traits your loved ones would ascribe to you. This means simply having one more positive thought than negative thoughts begins to change your brain’s frequency. And you want a positive frequency. So go on and list your positive traits and feel free to read through the list every morning before you start your day. Doing this will help you go out into the world radiating with confidence.
2. Write (and read) your personal story.
Reflect on how you have positively grown throughout the relationship. You have undoubtedly grown and learned about yourself, relationships, and what you want (or don’t want) in your life. Learning these important details makes it easier to recognize who you are when things begin to change. The sooner you’ll be able to acknowledge that individual happenings of your life don’t outline you, the sooner you can look at the bigger picture and see the accumulation of experiences that have prepared you for this moment.
“Life is one epic novel jam-packed with excitement, plot twists, love, loss, fear, and triumph. The real magic is that we tend to get to come to a decision however it ends. Decide the ending and browse each preceding chapter as Associate in Nursing exciting journey in character development; getting ready you for your greatest purpose. The climax of the story.”
3. Showcase your unique skills.
Begin Associate in Nursing activity or task that may need your distinctive skills to accomplish. Remind yourself of your ability to work hard and accomplish something meaningful to you. For example, if you’re good at baking, then bake a cake for a friend’s birthday. If you’re handy with tools, then design and build a piece of furniture for your living room or study. You see, using the skills you already have and honing them will raise your self-efficacy (the belief that you can accomplish goals). You, in turn, will have the confidence to set larger goals that will require more time and effort but will lead to a reward that holds a greater intrinsic value.